The Commander of Fort Hood said after the memorial services, “Now the healing must begin.” He’s right. During those early times after tragedy occurs, people tend to be in shock and denial, and they manage to go through the motions to get through the necessary rituals and actions. In my book, “This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen to Me: 10 Make-or-Break Choices When Life Steals Your Dreams and Rocks Your World,’ I call this defense mechanism, “the emotional circuit breaker.” It “shuts you down” in order to prevent destroying “the system” by overload. As the reality starts the dawn and the full import of the tragic events hits, individuals and communities must engage in the painful and laborious process of healing.
The ten choices I discuss in the book are not one-time choices, but a commitment to a set of principles by which ongoing choices will be made. The choices individuals make will determine whether the horrific tragedy will destroy them or will ultimately make them a stronger, more compassionate, more purposeful people. These make-or-break choices are:
· denial vs. reality;
· victimhood vs. responsibility;
· why vs. how;
· doubt vs. faith;
· bitterness vs. forgiveness;
· guilt vs. self-forgiveness;
· isolation vs. connection;
· depression vs. grief;
· avoidance vs. courage;
· powerlessness vs. purpose.
I’m doing a video podcast series on the Ten Choices on my Women’s Information Network Show, The Magnetic Workplaces Show – and don’t forget to pick up the book, “This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen to Me.”
I’d love to hear about your experiences in your attempt to implement any of these choices. Feel free to comment here, and I’ll respond.
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