Perfectionism Creates Failure

Last week I was working with my youngest grandson, Eli, on his reading fair project.  We had conceptualized our storyboard presentation of "Curious George Makes Pancakes," and we had begun the laborious process of have him print with colored markers the items required - summary, author, mood, conflict, solution, etc.  Our idea was to write on white paper, then put the white paper on colored paper to post to the story board.  White paper with no lines, that is, and writing there in any kind of reasonably straight line was a daunting task for an 8-year-old.  So I created some guide lines in pencil, which we erased after the color printing was complete.

All was going well for a while, until the little fellow began to get tired and a little careless about where his letters landed, despite the lines.  I cautioned him, "Eli, now watch your lines and let your letters come down to here." With a disgusted look and frustrated tone, Eli responded, "BeBe, if it's perfect, I'm gonna get a flat-out F because they will know a kid did not do it!"

O.K., Eli, ya got a point there.  In fact, it's probably a point for all of us.  If you try so hard to do things perfectly, this really can result in failure.  Because you'll never do it just right, you can chronically feel like a failure.  Over time, you lose confidence because you become convinced you'll just never measure up.  (And you won't, with the unrealistic standard of perfection.) Because you want to have JUST the right time to do something JUST RIGHT, you can procrastinate and miss the opportunity altogether or do less than your best with last-minute scrambling. Your decision-making can be painfully slow (again missing opportunities and frustrating the heck out of others) because you want to make JUST THE RIGHT decision.  

Perfectionism is conscientiousness run amuck.  It's a strength to be committed to doing things well, to using your talents, to behaving responsibly and conscientiously.  However, don't get that out of balance.  Stay out of the trap of perfectionism.

As my good friend and business coach Mark LeBlanc (www.SmallBusinessSuccess.com) reminds me, "Done is better than perfect!" 

Let's talk about it!

What have been your experiences with perfectionism? 

Has it worked for you or against you? 

If you are a recovering perfectionist, what are some of the things you've done to aid your recovery?

Dr. Bev Smallwood: Psychologist; Professional Speaker; Show Host on The Women's Information Network (www.thewinonline.com); Author, "This Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me;" Website:  www.DrBevSmallwood.com.

 

Comments

[Patricia]

This is so me and when I allow perfectionism to get in the way that is exactly what happens. One thing I finally got a handle on was Christmas shopping. I would struggle and struggle with trying to find everyone the perfect gift. A few years ago I realized that I didn't have to get the perfect gift but a nice gift. That has really taken the stress out of Christmas for me. Love the "done is better than perfect" I shall put that on my computer for a reminder.