Last weekend, I had two experiences that reminded me of the power of emotional intelligence. You probably know that emotional intelligence involves a symphony of skills in thinking, relating, and behaving that result in: 1) managing oneself and one’s emotions well, and 2) relating with others competently. Daniel Goleman, the researcher and author who coined the term emotional intelligence reports that approximately 66% of occupational success is not due to intellectual ability, but to emotional intelligence. From almost 30 years as a psychologist and developer of leaders, I wholeheartedly believe it.
I was saddened last weekend as I evaluated a young man charged with capital murder of his girlfriend. A part of that forensic psychological examination was a Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale-IV, which assesses IQ or intellectual ability. To my surprise, this young man topped out many of the scales. He was very “smart.” But obviously, he was not wise when it came to the series of choices in his life that led to the tragic events which led to his arrest. I have been struck for many years by an observation as I’ve evaluated what many consider “those people” in deep trouble with the law. Most are not sociopaths. The majority made one unwise, emotionally “stupid” choice at a time, leading them step by step down a destructive path. Emotional intelligence trumps IQ one more time.
A second experience on the same day brought that lesson home, yet again. I went to see “This is It,” the movie about Michael Jackson’s preparation for his comeback tour. I loved the music and was reminded of Michael’s phenomenal talent as a songwriter, musician, and entertainer. Yet his personal life was a tragedy. Whatever the truth is about his personal behavior, there can be no doubt that Michael lacked the skills to manage himself and relate with others. A musical genius handicapped by the lack of emotional intelligence. What a waste! I left the movie sad.
The message is clear to parents, organizations, and individuals. Invest in teaching and learning those critical competencies for emotional self-management and healthy relationships. Success depends on it!
What do you think? What examples have you seen or experienced?
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