Part 1: Why Depression?
Every year about this time, my clients begin asking the questions and the calls come in from the media. The basic query is, “How can we deal with holiday stress?” So this year, I’ve decided to do things a little differently I’m going to share with you a series throughout the holidays, answering the most Frequently Asked Questions, along with some pointers that just may help you avoid becoming a stressed-out, maxed-out Grinch!
Here are some of the questions we’ll be discussing:
· (Today) Why do I get depressed during the holidays?
· What if I’ve experienced a recent tragedy or break-up?
· How can I keep family gatherings calm and stay out of the drama?
· How can we keep from maxing out financially, especially when kids seem to want everything and have no idea how hard it is to juggle the money issues?
· There’s just not enough time to get things done, with shopping, parties, cooking, planning for family gatherings. How can I deal with the pressures of time?
· How can I keep from gaining weight during the holidays?
· What are some ways to restore the real meaning of the season?
· And others that inquiring minds want to know! (That’s you! Just ask!)
OK, time now for the first question.
Why do I get depressed during the holidays?
Many get depressed because they are feeling a sense of loss, missing someone who is no longer present. Grief is a common experience during these times we perceive as family/loved ones occasions. Absences are conspicuous and painful.
A second reason for holiday depression is unrealistic expectations. It’s not possible for every event to be perfect, every gift to be perfect, and every relationship to be perfect. Quite the contrary, in fact. Perfection is an unrealistic goal any time – especially during a season when we are stretched so thin. With a perfectionistic standard, you are sure to be disappointed – and possibly depressed.
Some feel depression because of the ghosts of Christmas past. If you grew up in a family where alcoholism or family dysfunction made holidays hazardous, you may re-experience that anxiety or depression as the holiday time approaches. Past trauma tends to be “re-felt” when memories are triggered.
A fourth cause of holiday depression is exhaustion. Running here and there, neglecting self care, and feeling overwhelmed are great ingredients in the recipe for that heavy feeling interpreted as depression. You may just be really tired and stressed out.
Find out how to avoid these in later installments of this holiday FAQ series!
Next question we’ll discuss: What if I’ve experienced a recent tragedy or break-up?
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Do you have other questions I haven’t included? You can ask them and I’ll answer on the Shrink Rap suggestions for staying sane during the holidays. While you’re at the Shrink Rap Blog, sign up to be notified of new posts at the top right of the page.
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Want to reprint this? The answer is “yes” if you include the following attribution: Dr. Bev Smallwood is a psychologist, speaker, Show Host at The Women’s Information Network (thewinonline.com), and author of “This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen to Me.” Visit her website, www.DrBevSmallwood.com, or contact her directly at 601-264-0890.
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